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hsiMSHHB CHICAGO^ 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free. 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 8 8 

Abbu San of Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (35c) 15 

After the Game, 2 acts, 154 

hrs (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake. 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 6 10 

And Home Came Ted, 3 acts, 

2% hrs. (50c) 6 6 

Arizona Cowboy, 4 acts, 254 

hrs. ....(35c) 7 5 

Assisted by Sadie, 4 acts, .2*4 

hrs (50c) 6 6 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

2y 2 hrs (35c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2Y A hrs (35c) 6 14 

Black. Heifer, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 9 3 

Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, \y A hrs. 

(25c) ..17 

Boy Scouts' Good Turn, 3 acts, 

154 hrs (25c) 16 2 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2 54 

hrs (25c) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Busy Liar, 3 acts, 254 h. (25c) 7 4 
Call of the Colors, 2 acts, 154 

hrs (25c) 4 10 

Call of Wohelo, 3 acts, 134 

hrs (25c) 10 

Camouflage of Shirley, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 8 10 

Civil Service, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(35c) 6 5 

College Town, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 9 8 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(35c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 actJ, 2 hrs. 

(35c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2% 

. hrs (25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (35c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr....(25c N 10 
Enchanted Wood, \y A h.(35c).Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1J4 h. (25c) 7 6 
Face at the Window, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4 

For the Love of Johnnv, 3 

acts, ,254 hrs (50c) 6 3 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

1% hrs ...(30c) 9 14 

Gettin' Acquainted, 25 mm. 

(35c) 1 2 

her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 

2 hrs .(35c) 3 5 



M. F. 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 12 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 254 

hrs (25c) 6 4 

Jayville Junction, 1% hrs. (25c) 14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2Y A hrs (35c) 6 12 

Laughing Cure, 2 acts, \y A hrs. 

(35c) 4 5 

Lightnouse Nan, 3 acts, 2*4 

hrs. (35c) 5 4 

Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2 l /i hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Little Clodhopper, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 3 4 

Mirandy's Minstrels. . . . (30c) Optnl. 
Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 2*4 hrs.... (35c) 4 7 

My Irish Rose, 3 acts, 2y 2 hrs. 

(35c) 6 6 

OH Maid's Club, 1 54 hrs. (30c) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 6 

Old School at Hick'ry Holler, 

154 hrs (30c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

2% hrs (25c) 10 4 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (35c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 254 h. (35c) 7 4 
Real Thing After All, 3 acts, 

254 hrs (35c) 7 9 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 10 12 

Ruth in a Rush, 3 acts, 254 

hrs. (35c) 5 7 

Safety First, 3 acts, 

254 hrs._ (35c) 5 5 

Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (30c) 7 

Spark of Life, 3 acts, 

2 hrs. .r. (25c) 4 4 

Spell of the Image, 3 acts, 254 

hrs (35c) 10 10 

Star Bright, 3 acts T 254 h. (35c) 6 5 
Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 2J4 

hrs (35c) 9 16 

Tonv, the Convict, 5 acts, 2y 2 

'hrs (25c) 7 4 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 254 hrs. 

(35c) ....,...- 6 18 

Trip to Storyiand, 154 hrs. (25c) 17 23 . 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 254 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts. 2 

hrs (35c) 7 10 

When Smith Stepped Out_ 3 

'acts, 2 hrs (50c) 4 4 

Whose Little Bride Are You? 

3 acts, 254 hrs (50c) 5 5 

Winning Widow, 2 acts, 154 hrs. 

I (25c) ..:.. 2 4 



T.S.PENISON&COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S. Wabash Ave. , Chicago 



MEMPHIS MOSE t°h f e A. E. F. 

MILITARY MINSTREL AFTERPIECE 

BY 

WADE STRATTON 

AUTHOR OF 

"Almost An Actor," "An Awful Appetite," "The Barber's Bride," 

"A Burnt Cork Barrage," "Cash Money," "Fu'st Aid to 

Cupid," "Hitting the African Harp," Kiss Me, 

Camille!" "When Cork Is King" etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY 

Publishers 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 

5^ 



<^V^ 



CHARACTERS. 



: U\' 



Memphis Mose. Nearly a Welfare Worker 

Philbert Nutt His Companion 

General Rowse Mittum A Dusky Dutchman 

Private Verboten Some of His Army 

Private Zweibeer Some More 

Bigfoot Sue A Red Cross Nurse 

Soldiers As You Wish 



Scene — An Enemy Encampment, 



Time— War Time. 



Place — Over the Pond. 



Time of Playing — About Twenty-five Minutes. 



COPYRIGHT, 1921, BY T. S. DENISON & COMPANY. 

^ 2 

©CI.D 5 9108 



I 



121921 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 



COSTUMES. 

Memphis Mose — Ordinary suit, leather leggings and 
long linen duster covering all. 

Philbert Nutt — Dilapidated clothing and blue cap. 
Very droll in speech and slow in action. 

General Rowse Mittum — Misfit, many colored, dilapi- 
dated uniform, with large hat ornamented with a large 
plume. Has a large mustache, which he stroke in pom- 
pous, fierce manner. Wears an absurd "iron cross," very 
large, and other military decorations. 

Private Verboten — Blue coat, brass buttons, white 
pants and old cap. Carries an old musket. 

Private Zweibeer — Old blue suit, short trousers and 
straw hat. Carries a battered old sword. 

Bigfoot Sue — Typical darky wench part; calico dress, 
white apron and sleeves and nurse's white cap. On one 
sleeve is a red cross. 

Note. — While only six characters are required, more may 
be added at option of producer. Your local organization 
may act as "the army" and the dialogue may be so arranged 
that a drill be introduced without detriment to plot or action. 
The costume descriptions are merely suggestions. Many 
ludicrous "uniforms" can be originated. Some of the 
"army" might wear old pajama suits, dyed bright green. All 
characters in the skit are blackface. 



PROPERTIES. 

Rifles for Verboten and Zweibeer; bowl of bread and 
milk, large spoon and two napkins for Sue ; chicken bone 
for Mose; stretcher for Nutt. 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means right of stage; C, center; R. C, right center; 
L., left ; 1 E., first entrance ; U. E., upper entrance ; R. 3 E., 
right entrance, upstage, etc.; R.D., right door; L.D., left 
door, etc. ; D. F., door in flat or back of the stage ; up stage, 
away from footlights; down stage, near footlights; 1 5., 
first groove, etc. The actor is supposed to be facing the 
audience. 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 



Scene : An exterior to represent a woodland, with moun- 
tain or landscape drop in 3 G. and wood wings. A small 
white canvas tent at C., with flaps drawn over opening. On 
center pole peak is a small German flag. {Omit if difficult 
to procure.) At L. of tent are two nail kegs marked: 
"Powder." A small table and a camp chair in front of tent. 

Music: Some familiar A. E. F. tune, to raise and lower 
curtain. 

At rise, Private Verboten, Mose and Nutt are discov- 
ered. Verboten is doing sentry duty, pacing to and fro 
from R. to L. back of tent. Nutt and Mose are seated 
on nail kegs in despondent attitudes. Mose has one leg 
heavily bandaged and Nutt wears a bandage on left arm. 

Nutt. Well, why don't yo' say somethin' ? 

Mose. Dere ain't a word to be sayed. (Rubs bandaged 
leg.) 

Nutt. Yo' said a-plenty 'fo' we got to dis side ob de 
Rhine. Yo' done talked yo' head off back in Memphis. 
(Mose nods head despondently.) Didn't yo' say: "Phil- 
bert, a barber shop ain't no place fo' yo'. Yo' should be a 
adventuress." Didn't yo' say dat to me? (Mose nods as 
before.) Didn't yo' also said to me: "Philbert, shinin' 
shoes ain't yo' vacation in life. Yo' should co-harmonize 
wid de higher equivalents. Yo' should be a soldier o' for- 
tune." Didn't yo' said dat to me? (Mose again nods 
head.) Den yo' said: "Philbert, cast aside dem ignoble 
brushes and come wid me. Dere is war in Europe." Didn't 
yo' say dem words to me? 

Mose. Ah did, and heah we is. 

Nutt. Yes, heah we is ; prisoners ob war. (Rubs a 
hand over bandage, painfully contorted face.) 

Mose. Well, dare ain't nothin' dishonorable in bein' a 
prisoner ob war. 



6 MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 

Nutt. Maybe not. But if Ah was fixin' fo' to be a 
prisoner, Ah could a got in jail back in Memphis. 

Mose. Ah, but, Philbert, dere am a lot ob difference. 

Nutt. Yes, Ah could a-had mah reg'lar eats back in 
dat Memphis jail, 

Mose. Oh, yo' always think ob eatin'. 

Nutt. And dat's all Ah do, is jes' think ob it, lately. 
Say, man, mah stomach could be arrested fo' what it thinks 
ob me. 

Mose. Shucks, man, dis am merely a condition ob de 
fortunes ob war. 

Nutt. Yes, but yo' didn't say dis was gwine to happen 
when yo' slung dat flowery talk back in Memphis. No, sah. 
Yo' say: "Philbert, dem Dutchmen couldn't hit de water 
if dey fell out ob a boat." Didn't yo' say dat? 

Mose. Well? 

Nutt. Well, dey had nuther water or t a boat, but dey 
sure did hit us. {Hand to bandage.) 

Mose. Dat was 'cause we tried to run. 

Nutt. Tried to run? Man, Ah did run! Ah got three 
years exercise in jes' one second. But de faster Ah run, 
de faster dat bullet run. {Looks cautiously about at Ver- 
boten, who has been pacing back and forth.) Dat nigger 
gets on my nerves. 

Mose. Nigger? Man, he ain't no nigger. He's a 
Dutchman. 

Nutt. Shucks ! It he's a Dutchman, Ah'm a dime's worth 
of Hungarian goolash. Whatta yo' reckon dere fixin' to do 
wid us? 

Mose. Oh, soon's dey find out Ah'm a "Y" secketary, 
dey '11 release us. 

Nutt {disgustedly). "Y" is we here? Dat's what Ah 
axes yo'. A lot yo' knows about welfare! {Gun is fired 
off L. Nutt and Mose exhibit comedy fright. Verboten 
wheels, faces to L. in a challenging attitude.) 

Verboten {calling off L.). Halt! Who goes thar? 

Zweibeer {off L.). Friend! 

Verboten. Advance, friend, and give de countersign. 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 7 

Nutt (to Mose). Didn't Ah tell yo'? Dat's jes' plain 
nigger talk, dat's all. 

Enter Zweibeer from L., whispers to Verboten. 

Verboten (to Zweibeer). Yo' gotta know de counter- 
sign. Ah got mah orders. Dem orders is dat if yo' don't 
say "Fried Chicken," Ah runs mah bayonet through yo'. 

Zweibeer. "Fried chicken." 

Verboten. All right. Now who yo' all shoot at jes' 
now? 

Zweibeer. 'Twasn't nobody. But Ah thought Ah seen 
dem two niggers tryin' ter make a getaway. (Comedy 
fright by the two.) 

Verboten. Say, dere ain't a chance in de world. 

Zweibeer. No, dem low-down plain niggers am out- 
classed 'longside ob us Heinies. 

Verboten. Ah wonder what de general am gwine do 
wid 'em. 

Zweibeer. Oh, jes' naturally shoot dem at sunrise, dat's 
all. 

Mose (to Nutt, in nervous fright). Yo' heah dat? 
Gwine to shoot us at sunrise. 

Nutt. Not me. Ah don't get up dat early. 

The tent flaps are suddenly flung apart and enters there- 
from General Rowse Mittum. He strikes a fierce comedy 
pose and strokes mustache for an instant. Then he glowers 
at the prisoners and they attempt to hide behind each 
other. 

General (sharply). Attention! (Verboten and Zwei- 
beer bring their guns to an awkzwrd salute, wheel and 
march stiffly to the General, and when within a couple of 
paces of him, trip and almost fall.) Fall in! 

Verboten. Yes, sah, we jes' did, General. 

Nutt (advancing tozuard the General, smiling). Oh, 
Ah knows yo'. Yo' was fo'merly a barber back in Mem- 
phis. 

General (fiercely, to Nutt). Silence! (To Zweibeer.) 
Anythin' to repo't? 

Zweibeer. Yes, sah. Ah jes' killed ninety-eight ene- 
meeses. 



8 MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 

General. Aha! Ninety-eight ob de enemy died by yo' 
hand? 

Zweibeer. Yes, sah ; one hand. 

General. Den yo' kin knock off work fo' de day. Yo' 
done enough. (Zweibeer salutes in comedy fashion.) P-ri- 
vat Verboten, what yo'-all done fo' yo' country? 

Verboten. Ah run 'cross seventy-eight enemeeses and 
cut off dere feet. 

General. Cut off dere feet ? And why didn't yo* cut 
dere heads off? (Comedy fright by prisoners.) 

Verboten. Oh, somebody else done dat 'fore Ah got 
dere. 

General (violently clears throat, fiercely strokes mus- 
tache and glowers at the prisoners.) Bring de prisoners to 
headquarters. (Verboten and Zweibeer go behind Nutt 
and Mose and prod them with their bayonets, forcing them 
to the General.) 

Nutt (protestingly to General). Whatta dey mean by 
stickin' us wid dem bay-nets? 

General. It means dat yo' am wanted at headquarters. 

Nutt. Headquarters ! Dat ain't whar dey stuck us wid 
dem bay-nets. 

General. Silence! (Sits at table.) Yo' am gwine now 
ter git court-martialed. 

Nutt. If dat's somethin' good ter eat, Ah been ready 
fo' two days now. » 

General. Silence! (To Mose.) What's yo' name? 

Mose. Memphis Mose, sah. 

General. Whar yo' from? 

Nutt. Yo' know whar he's from. Yo' is from de same 
place — Memphis. 

General (fiercely). Silence! (Each time the General 
yells "silence" at Nutt the latter jerks his head sharply in 
affright and his cap falls to floor.) 

Nutt (as he stoops, picks up hat and replaces it on head) . 
Doggone dat nigger, anyhow ! 

General (to Nutt). What's yo' name? 

Nutt. Yo' know doggone well what mah name is. 

General. Whar was yo' born, and if so, why? 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 9 

Nutt. Ah don't know. 

General. Whatta yo' mean yo' don't know? Didn't yo' 
ever have no mother? 

Nutt. Ah don't know. 

General. Who was with yo' when yo' was born? 

Nutt. My aunt. 

General. On what day was yo' born? 

Nutt. Thursday. 

General {fiercely and fingering mustache). Aha! Now 
Ah got yo'. Yo' don't know nothin' 'bout a mother, but 
yo' do know what day yo' was born on. How comes it dat 
yo' know what day yo' was born on? 

Nutt. 'Cause de next day we had fish. 

General {rising to feet with an angry stamp and twirl- 
ing mustache). Silence! {To Zweibeer and Verboten.) 
Take de prisoners away. Take dem to de deepest and 
darkest dungeon. {They place themselves on either side of 
the prisoners.) 

Nutt {to General). Say, what's a dungeon? 

General {rising to feet, stamps a foot angrily and 
strokes mustache). Silence! {To Zweibeer and Verbo- 
ten.) Take de prisoners to de dungeon. {They pla-ce them- 
selves on either side of the prisoners.) 

Nutt {to General). Say, what's a dungeon? Do dat 
happen to be Dutch talk fo' dinin' room? 

General. Nothin' like it. Dere ain't gwine to be no 
eatin'. 

Nutt. No eatin'? (General shakes head.) Den shoot 
me now. (General raises his hand as a command for the 
prisoners to be taken away. The prisoners are between the 
two soldiers, single file. The four march in a brisk, military 
fashion once about the stage, the General places himself at 
their head and they are about to exeunt R. when — ) 

Enter Bigfoot Sue. She starts in astonishment, raises 
her hands with a commanding gesture and the five halt. 

Sue. Halt ! Doggone yo', halt ! 

Mose {in glad surprise). Sue! {He opens his arms and 
Sue rushes and throws herself forcibly against him, knock- 



10 MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 

ing him to floor and she falling on top. The others show 
astonishment. The fallen ones scramble to their feet.) 

General. What am de meanin' ob dis? 

Sue {to General). Back up, yo' unemployed load ob 
coal ; back up ! Dis am mah sweetheart from Memphis, 
Tennessee. 

Mose (kisses Sue). Yo' sweet little bunch o' peaches 
and cream, yo'. 

Nutt (aside). Dat man always am talkin' 'bout some- 
thin' to eat, jes' ter make me jealous. 

General (to Sue). Stand aside! Dose men am prison- 
ers ob war. 

Sue (angrily to General). Don't yo' tell me to stand 
aside or any place else. Yo' get 'long and take yo' doggone 
army wid yo', or Ah'll fetch yo' a swat dat'll make yo' 
think de provocation ob eternity am arroven. (Threatens 
him with fist.) 

General (to the two privates). Attention! Fall in! Fo'- 
ward march! (Marches with "army" off R.) 

Mose (throwing his arms about Sue). Saved! Saved! 

Nutt (tugging at his coat sleeve). Ask her fo' somethin' 
ter eat, man, den we'll all be saved. 

Sue (releasing herself and looking at Nutt in seeming 
surprise). Who's yo' friend, Mose, deah? 

Mose. Ah don't know. Ah nevah saw him befo' in all 
my life. (Comedy business by Nutt.) 

Sue (to Mose). Den pay no further 'tention to him. 
We will be happy, jes' yo' and me together. 

Mose (to Nutt). Yes, little boy, run 'long and sell yo' 
papers. (Nutt, too astonished for speech, staggers to one 
of the kegs and drops weakly on it, staring at them with 
wide open mouth and eyes.) 

Sue. Mah darlin'. Yo' mus' be dreadful hungry. 
(Business by Nutt.) Yo' jes' wait heah a second. Ah 
got some nice things already cooked; lovely eatin' things. 
(Kisses- him.) Jes' a minute and Ah'll be right back. 
(Waddles in comedy manner to R., turns and blows a kiss 
at him, then exits. He blows several kisses in return and 
stands looking off R. after her.) 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 11 

Nutt (unable to longer restrain himself). Look heah, 
yo' possum-eyed, disappointed imitation ob a bottle ob ink — 

Mose (turning and surveying Nutt coldly). Was yo' 
'dressin' yo' conversation to me, sah? 

Nutt (astounded). Yo' — yo' mean yo' don't disorgan- 
ize me? 

Mose. Yo' face am slightly familitary, but Ah don't 
seem to place yo'. (Nutt drops weakly back on keg.) 

Enter Sue, R. She carries a large bowl filled with bread 
and milk, a large spoon and two napkins. 

Sue (to Mose). Heah yo' is, honey-lamb. Come heah 
and inaugerate yo' system wid some ob dis ambigious 
chicken soup. (Mose smiles broadly and goes to Sue at C. 
Nutt hurriedly rises and also rushes to her. Sue takes the 
two napkins and tucks one under each one's chin, then takes 
spoon, dips it in bowl and stirs vigorously. Nutt smacks 
lips in keen anticipation. Sue dips a spoonful, Mose opens 
mouth wide and she feeds it to him. Then she takes another 
spoonful, starts to feed Nutt but takes it herself.) 

Mose (in keen relish). Mah goodness, sweetheart, but 
dat sure am beautiful chicken soup. Do it again. (Sue 
gives him another spoon fid, then repeats business of almost 
feeding Nutt and eating the spoonful herself.) 

Sue. What became ob dat other feller dat was heah a 
while back? 

Mose. Him? Oh, he's gone. 

Nutt (opens eyes and tugs at his coat sleeve). No, no; 
heah Ah is — heah Ah is. (Mose ignores him.) 

Sue (feeding Mose another spoonfid). Ah didn't care 
so much fo' de looks ob him. He had a funny look. 

Nutt (attempting to attract her attention). No, not 
funny; jes' hungry, lady; jes' a hungry look, lady; dat's all. 
(They ignore him.) 

Sue (to Mose, puckers up lips and thrusts out her face 
in ludicrous manner). Honey-bud, kiss yo' little angel-face. 
(They kiss with comedy business. Nutt works up scene.) 
Now, den, one mo' po'tion ob chicken soup. (Feeds Mose.) 

Nutt (aside, disgustedly). Dinner time fo' some folks, 
but jes' 12 o'clock fo' me. 



12 MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 

Sue (takes napkin from Mose's neck and carefully wipes 
his lips with it, then does the same to Nutt.) Come, sweet 
breath ob evenin' breeze ; come wid me to de canteen, whar 
Ah will fill yo' soul and inner man wid pangs ob real delight. 

Mose (placing an arm about her waist). Ah shall cer- 
tainly be glad to do dat, mah beautiful bunch of pansy 
blossoms. Fo' Ah sure am hungry. (They kiss.) 

Nutt (aside, disgustedly). Dere ain't no chicken soup 
'bout dat. Dat am jes' plain "mush," dat's all ; jes' plain 
"mush." 

Mose (to Sue). Let us go to de place whar all is eats 
and stomachs know no sorrow. 

Sue. Yes, honey-bunch, we shall go. (They stroll to 
R., his arm about her waist, and stop at exit R.) Too bad 
yo' friend am went. 

Mose. Yes, it am too bad. Ah know he would enjoy 
hisself innumerably. He used ter like to eat. (They 
exeunt.) 

Nutt (looking after them, disgustedly). Well, kin yo' 
beat dat ? Ah used ter like to eat. Dat ain't no lie, Ah did 
used to, but Ah usen't to no mo'. (Starts for exit R.) 
Heah's whar Ah used to eat agin. 

General, Verboten and Zweibeer come marching in 
from, R. and halt Nutt as lie is about to exit. As many 
extra soldiers as desired may be introduced here. 

General. Halt! 

Nutt. Doggone it, dere's dat "halt" man agin. 

General. Whar yo' gwine? 

Nutt. Ah don't know, but Ah know whar Ah wish yo' 
was gwine. 

General. And whar am dat? 

Nutt. It's a long way from heah, and yo' wouldn't go 
if Ah told yo' to go. 

General. Silence! (Nutt's cap falls off as his head 
jerks sharply back.) Ah don't take no orders from yo'. 
Yo' takes orders from me. (Indicates the kegs.) Yo' see 
dem two powder kegs? (Nutt eyes kegs apprehensively.) 
Well, dem is got to go some place. 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F: 13 

Nutt. Well, let 'em go. Ah ain't stoppin' 'em. 

General. Dey is got to go, and it am too dangerous 
fo' mah soldiers to tote 'em, so Ah deploys yo' to tote 'em. 

Nutt (comedy fright). Huh? 

General. Dey am mighty dangerous, so yo' mus' be 
careful. 

Nutt. Will dey — will dey — blewie? 

General. Not if yo' am careful. 

Nutt. Say, yo* bettah git yo' a regular careful boy. 
Ah'm too careless. 

General. Oh, it won't make any difference if yo' am 
blown up; will it? 

Nutt. No, not to anybody else but me ; dat's all. 

General (sharply). Fo'ward march! (Verboten and 
Zweibeer force Nutt to kegs.) Now pick 'em up. (Nutt 
hesitates and they prod him with their bayonets.) 

Nutt. Ah kin see Ah got a fat chance. If Ah don't 
pick 'em up, Ah gets mah tires punctured. 

General. Yes. 

Nutt. Yes, and if Ah does pick 'em up, Ah gits — 
blewie ! 

General. Pick 'em up ! Fo'ward, march ! 

Nutt. Jes' a minute, General. Befo' de blewie comes, 
couldn't Ah be spared a little Dutch lunch? 

General. No, sah. Fo'ward, march! (Comedy drill 
may be introduced here, if desired. At its conclusion Ver- 
boten and Zweibeer prod Nutt with bayonets, he picks 
up the kegs with comedy fright, they form in line, General 
leading, Nutt following him and the soldiers bring up the 
rear. Exeunt L.) 

Enter Sue and Mose from R. He is chewing on a chicken 
bone with keen relish. 

Mose. Dat suttinly was some lunch. 

Sue. Lunch ? Man alive, if yo' calls dat a lunch, Ah 
wonder what yo'd call a meal? 

Mose (looking searchingly about). Ah wonder whar 
mah friend went ? (Loud explosion off L. Astounded, they 
run and look off L.) 



i 



14 MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 

Sue. What was dat yo' was remarkin' 'bout jes' fo' dat 
explosion ? 

Mose. Ah said Ah wonder whar mah friend went? 

Sue (shading eyes with one hand and then peering off). 
Ah don't persactly know, but he'll be down in a minute and 
den yo' kin ask him. 

Mose (looking off and up). By golly, Ah nevah saw 
him git sich a move on hisself befo' in all mah life. He 
sure is in a hurry. 

Sue. Now he's comin' down agin. 

Mose. Yes, Ah reckon he didn't like it up dar. (The 
tramp of feet is heard off L., gradually drawing nearer.) 

Sue. Dey am bringin' him heah on a stretcher. 

Mose. Poor old Nutt ! Ah'm sorry Ah was rude to him. 
He had his faults, but he wasn't sich a bad feller after all. 

Sue. No, he was only hungry. 

Mose. Well, he's cured ob dat now all right. 

Sue. He sure is. He's cured ob everythin'. 

Enter General, Verboten and Zweibeer, the latter two 
bearing a stretcher on which lies Nutt; and extras if de- 
sired. They march solemnly to C. and place stretcher on 
floor, then all form* a half circle about Nutt, the men re- 
moving their caps. 

General. We done our bestest to stop him after de 
powder went off, but he jes' naturally insisted on goin'. 

Mose. Poor old Nutt! He do look natural, don't he? 

Sue. Ah'm sorry now Ah didn't gib him somethin' ter 
eat befo' he up and died. (Nutt slightly raises his head 
and blinks eyes at Sue.) 

Mose. Yo' sure he am dead? 

Zweibeer. If he ain't he done git a powerful shock ter 
his system. 

Verboten. And it done look like it spread to de rest ob 
his body. 

General (sighs). Ah'm 'fraid now he am but a rem- 
nant ob a man. 

Sue (excitedly). What's dat yo' say? What's dat? 

General. Ah say, he am but a mere remnant ob a man. 



MEMPHIS MOSE OF THE A. E. F. 15 

Sue (drops on her knees beside the stretcher). Man, 
deah, does yo' heah dat? Speak! 

Nutt (raises head and looks inquiringly at her). What's 
it? What's it, lady? 

Sue. Dat man say yo' am a mere remnant. If yo' am a 
remnant, Ah loves yo' and only yo'. 

Mose (to Sue). Heah, yo'. What yo' mean lovin' dat 
man? 

Sue (picks Nutt up from stretcher, arm about him). 
Go way, Mistah Memphis Mose. Mention not mah name in 
endearin' terms agin. Ah loves yo' no mo'. 

Mose (astounded). What's — what's de meaning ob dis? 
Why fo' yo' transfer yo' love to dat man? 

Sue. Why? Because he's a remnant. And whar am 
de woman livin* dat kin resist a remnant? (Sue throws 
her arms about Nutt, the others form half circle about 
them, exhibiting intense astonishment, to — ) 

Curtain. 



DENISON'S 

MINSTREL OPENING CHORUSES 
AND FINALES 

By JEFF BRANEN 

Something new. A boon, especially to amateurs. 
Assure the success of your minstrel performance. 

Get your audience in a friendly mood, tingling with the warm 
glow of pleasure, from the opening curtain. Get away to a flying 
start and make a whirlwind finish, and your show will be pro- 
nounced a success, even though there may be some rough spots 
in between. Provide a relish at the beginning, make your inter- 
vening acts as good as your individual talent will permit and then 
leave your audience with a good taste in their mouths. Denison's 
Minstrel Opening Choruses and Finales are for the purpose of 
creating good first and last impressions. As such they arei made 
to order and are as good as professionals ever used. 

No more will you have to follow the practice of relying for this 
all important work upon a novice who probably will throw together 
some stale choruses and call it an opening and perhaps may ask 
you to close with a simple song which means nothing. Each 
Opening Chorus and Finale tells an original and interesting story 
and will instantly thaw the chilliest audience. Laughable, ar- 
tistic and in excellent taste. The finale of each chorus is a witty 
"thank you." 

NOW READY 

Number One .For Blackface Minstrels 

Number Two For Whiteface Minstrels 

Number Three For Female Minstrels 

Number Four For Legion Minstrels 

Piano Score, Words and Music. 

Price, Each Number, Postpaid, 75 Cents. 

Supplementing the vocal score, a special orchestration is fur- 
nished for each Denison's Minstrel Opening Chorus and Finale. 
It provides for eleven instruments including effective saxophone 
obbligatos, the latter being the final word in arrangements of 
this kind. The cost of the orchestration is extra, but is trivial 
compared with the expense of employing a local or special arranger. 

Eleven-Instrument Orchestration (No sets broken). 

Price, Each Number, Postpaid, $1.50 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers 

623 South Wabash Avenue, CHICAGO 



DEN ISDN'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Catalogue Free 



FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 
Price 25 Cents Each 

M. F. 

AH on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 
Aunt Harriet's Night Out, 35 

min 1 2 

Aunt Matilda's Birthday Party, 

35 min . 11 

Billy's Chorus Girl, 30 min... 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
Case Against Casey, 40 min... 23 

Class Ship, 35 min 3 8 

Divided Attentions, 35 min... 1 4 

Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 

Getting Rid of Father, 20 min. 3 1 

Goose Creek Line, 1 hr 3 10 

Great Pumpkin Case, 35 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 jnin 4 3 

Honest Peggy, 25 min 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Just Like a Woman, 35 min... 3 3 

Last Rehearsal, 25 min 2 3 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. lenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Paper Wedding^ 30 min 1 5 

Pat's Matrimonial \enture, 25 

min 1 2 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min 4 3 

Rummage Sale, 50 min 4 10 

Sewing for the Heathen, 40 

min 9 

Shadows, 35 min 3 4 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 
Teacher Kin I Go Home, 35 

min 7 3 

Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min 3 6 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min.. 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted: a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 
Watch, a Wallet, and a Jack of 

Spades, 40 min 3 6 

Whole Truth, 40 min 5 4 

Who's the Boss? 30 min 3 6 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc 
Price 15 Cents Each 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 15; min 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 
Before the Play Begins, 15 

min 2 1 

Billy's Mishaps, 20 min 2 3 

Country Justice, 1 5 min 8 

Cow that^ Kicked Chicago, 25 m. 3 2 

Familv Strike, 20 min 3 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 min.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 



Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 
Initiating a U ranger, 25 min.. 
Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 
Lottie Sees It Through, 35 min. 

Pair of Lunatics, 20 min 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35 min.. 
Please Pass the Cream, 20 min. 

Second Childhood, 15 min 

Smith's Unlucky Day, 20 min.. 

That Rascal Pat, 30 min 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 
Wanted: A Hero, 20 min 



5 1 
3 4 



1 1 



VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Amateur, 15 min 1 1 

At Harmony Junction, 20 min. 4 
Breakfast Food for Two, 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Fresh Timothy Flay, 20 min.. 2 1 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hev, Rube ! 15 min 1 

It Might Happen, 20 min 1 1 

Little Miss Enemy, 15 min.... 1 1 
Little Red School House, 20 m. 4 
Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 
One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10m. 1 
Quick Lunch Cabaret, 20 min. . 4 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Street Faker, 15 min 3 

Such Ignorance, 15 min 2 

Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, 15 min.... 2 
Vait a Minute 2 

BLACK-FACE PLAYS 
Price 25 Cents Each 

Axin' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 

min .10 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min... 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 m... 1 1 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m.14 
Darktown Fire Brigade, 25m.. 10 
Good Mornin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 

Hungry, 15 min 2 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Memphis Mose, 25 min. ...... . 5 1 

Oh, Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
What Happened to Hannah, 15 

min 1 1 

A great number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denison's Catalogue 



r.S.DENSSON& COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago 



LIBRARY OF CONGRE! 



POPULAR ENTERTAIN ME* 

Price, Illustrated Paper Covers, 35 c< 





IN this Series 
are found 
books touching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
clear print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 
A Tartial List 
DIALOGUES 

All Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of age. 
Country School Dialogues. 

Brand new, original 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For country schools. 
Dialogues from Dickens. 

Thirteen selections. 
Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 60,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From 7 to 13 years of age. 
Lively Dialogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Dialogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

For pupils of all ages. 
Humorous Monologues. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 



0J517 401 327 



Monologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, prose, 
poetry. 15 Nos., per No. 35c 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Plays With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Christmas Entertainer. 

Novel and diversified. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all the holidays. 
Good Things for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Sunday Schools. 

Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces to speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

! New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 
ing Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

The Black-Face Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY, Publishers, 623 S.Wabash Ave., Chicago 



